What aspect of God’s character do you need to be reminded of?

Written By Rachel Wahba-Dunkley

I went on a silent retreat recently (with an awesome organization called Wonder Aloud) and not to be dramatic, but it changed my spiritual life in the best way possible!🤗

In case you’re wondering, a silent retreat is more than just being silent for a few days. It's being mindful of how you take up space and how that impacts others - as simple as the sounds you make as you walk, how loudly you open and close doors, and more.

It's noticing God's whisper in the small, mundane activity of brushing your teeth. It's feeling connected to God's creation on a cold winter day where you should be shivering, but you're feeling warm and fuzzy because of God's outpouring love.

While there were no instructions of how to use our time, some common silent retreat activities are:

  • visio divina (being still and contemplative with visual art)

  • lectio divina (being still and contemplative with sound)

  • arts & crafts (coloring, rosary making, puzzles, painting, etc.)

  • journal prompts

  • mindful eating

  • taking a nap

  • being in nature

Journaling in silence

While I could do a whole blog post on how each of these activities helped me to discover a new aspect of my relationship with God, I want to spend some time on the journal prompts and what came up for me.

The prompts were all about following God's rhythm and pace of life, which is very different than the white supremacist culture imo, and how to embrace God's love in our everyday life.

Through journaling, God spoke to me and said “Rachel, you were created to be a sensitive soul. Your ability to feel deeply is not a mistake and not something to be ashamed of.” 

I have a lot of memories of people making fun of my sensitivity or discounting my intelligence because my sensitivity makes me “illogical.” But thankfully, I also have a lot of memories of people appreciating my sensitive nature, and many friendships where sensitivity is a connecting point that makes the relationship deep and meaningful.

God showed me how being sensitive in various areas of my life is crucial: my marriage, friendships, hosting community group, creating spaces of healing and care, and even in interactions with strangers.

Embracing my sensitivity

It's taken me many years to embrace my sensitive nature. And to this day, I still have moments where I struggle with this.

I often get mad that people can easily go about their day ("business as usual") when there's continued violence and injustice happening, while I keep swimming in lament and holy anger.

I wish I could enjoy loud, lively spaces like other people do instead of avoiding them or having to rely on my noise-cancelling headphones (or nearing a breakdown when I forget them at home!)

I wonder what it feels like to stand up for myself when someone's being rude to me, instead of feeling so overwhelmed that I freeze, am unable to speak, and try to leave the situation.

There's a lot of freeing, empowering, and joyful things that my sensitivity prevents me from doing. And I don't know if I'll ever “get over” it.

God’s slow and steady rhythm

 And also, God reminded me in a healthy/non-toxic-positivity way that my sensitivity allows me to embrace His slow and steady way of living, and this sensitivity is needed in the world. My sensitive nature helps me to listen well, ask questions, embrace discomfort, and wonder with my clients. It helps me to pause and soak in the sun on my walk, instead of rushing home to get back to work. It helps me to intercede, pray, advocate, and fight for justice.

Being sensitive is hard, but it's worth it. And God reminded me for the millionth time that I was not a mistake…a message that we, Christian women of color who have histories of marginalization, need constant reminders of. 

So my question for you is what do you need to be reminded of? What's something that's difficult to manage but also makes your life sweeter? How do you see God working in and through you in that thing? 

My prayer for you is that you open the door for God to speak to you and remind you who you are. Even the things you thought you'd be “over it” by now. The things that make you feel different than everyone else.

May you open the door to God's light, truth, and love in those areas, and embrace His way instead of the ways of the world.💜

Need more support? Lemme help you sis:

Rachel Wahba-Dunkley
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